Okay, I need to preface that I have not been romantic with another man in years as I was married for 10 years and freshly divorced. Well, I ran into an old coworker of my ex-husband’s. When he heard that I was divorced, he invited me to his party the following Saturday so I decided to take him up on the offer. I grabbed a girlfriend and we went. It was fun, the guy (Scott), was a great host and introduced me to everyone. After everyone left, I helped him clean up. He made it evident that I was invited for a specific reason. I thought what the heck? It’s been a long time and I need fun. In the middle of me trying to be seductive and take off his blazer, I accidentally hit a candle with the arm sleeve catching it on fire. I ran, grabbed a cup, filled it with water and ran back to extinguish the fire only to completely miss and throw a full cup of water in his face. He stomped the fire out of his expensive blazer, accepted my apologies politely, then walked me to the door.

I’m sure it’s not surprising that I haven’t heard from him since.

Kerri
San Francisco, CA

Okay my GYNA Gals, know this, I don’t do ANYTHING half-assed, I do it with a full ass. Dancing – shake that ass. Friendship – ass first. Work – you scratch my ass, I scratch yours. Hitting on guys – I AM ONE BIG ASS!

So… Let ‘er rip!! (No pun intended)

I was out with a group of girlfriends, and we were playing the “points game”. The rules are that any person in the group can gave any amount of points for any challenge. The person taking the challenge gets the points for doing said challenge as long as they do not reveal the game. Stay with me.

Example: Heather, I’ll give you 10 points to quote the song and tell that super hot guy over there that His Body is a Wonderland.

Heather: I’ll take the challenge! Note; I was hoping to actually strike up a conversation with said hot guy anyway because, he was, well, hot.

I walked over to Mr. Hot, put on the girl-next-door-love-me smile and said, “Hi!”
He looked at me like, “I’m not sure I know you and if I want to say hi.”
“You having a good night?” (he gave me the same look)
“I noticed you across the bar and just wanted to tell you that…I think… your body is a wonderland.” I said with a huge smile waiting for a laugh.
“What?” He said
“Um, I was just saying that, um, your body is a wonderland.”
“OK,” he said and looked at me like I had three heads then turned around.

I walked away – with ZERO points!!

Whatever. I’m still hot.

OK, maybe this isn’t the worst, but I was dating an amazing guy right…but it just wasn’t sparking for me. So for a week I tried to let him down softly and he just was not having it. SO I got so fed up one night, I went out with my EX, proceeded to get hammered…then traveled over to the nice guys house and apparently I broke it off. I say “apparently” because I can not remember! All I remember is thinking, if I fake cry, put my hand on his heart and say, “OMG, I have to go, I can’t see you,” then that would be a great escape…for some reason I thought the more drama the better…and I guess it worked. Again – I don’t remember any of this as I was informed of my performance in a sad voicemail from him.

Alice
Bloomington, IL