Pictures these, but covered in mold.

We all eat on the run, especially in the morning. Even more, we often grab something and have no idea what we’re eating because of time crunches. I once had Pringles for breakfast because I thought I was grabbing cereal in a can. I have to say, a salty treat with coffee was a different combination, but not bad, sort-of like Cheetos with Peanut-butter/Jelly. I know it sounds nasty, but my pregnant friend told me about it and I’m tellin’ ya, Brad Pitt in a sandwich. Don’t knock it till you try it.

On Friday, I had a client tell me about her eat-on-the-run experience. She grabbed the Hostess 100 Calorie Pack Muffins that morning which she eats daily on the way to work. Being a good driver, she kept her eyes on the road while she unwrapped the muffins. She spelled something weird, “It must be hair product,” she thought, then popped a muffin. She said it tasted like there was hair product all over the mini-muffin so she spit it out, looked down to find mold all over the half-chewed muffin!!!! THEN she looked down at the two remaining muffins to find MOLD ALL OVER THEM! HAHA! I’ve never confused mold with the smell/taste of hair product, but perhaps I should take it to the Oxford University Labs. Those people survey/test anything.

My favorite part of her story is that the mold did not spoil her appetite. She immediately called her mom, who’s office was close by hers, and asked to meet her in the parking lot and bring her a granola bar and yogurt. Girl, you’re not alone if breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Let’s not beat around the bush. Erica and I jumped the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard and rode the “vacation” excuse like a wild horse and never tamed it. Erica had a goal to eat lobster at least once everyday and I fell in love. Yes, Rob, move over, you have been replaced by a much more enticing species… called.. Murdick’s Fudge. Slap me… harder.. no harder!! Okay.. that was too hard. Actually, not hard enough! I’m in still in love with fudge!! Ladies, this stuff is amazing! I live next to the Fudge Pot in Chicago, always loved it, but Murdick’s Tanya Harding’s it to the ground.

http://murdicks.com/fudge/

I had a love affair with fudge and Erica with lobster. HOWEVER, what did I say last week? I WILL NOT GAIN WEIGHT.. so I ran like vegetables were chasing me, EVERY FREAKIN’ DAY! Although we didn’t lose anything, we didn’t gain either which is pretty darn good for people who swam in butter and cream for a week. We did watch our food intake during the day, but when dark came… ohhhhh, Lordy.

When I arrived home on Sunday, though, I was greeted by the September issue of Shape magazine reminding me that vacation was over and the gym awaits.. as well as the veggies.

I got some good recipes this week so I’m not just eating things that taste like cardboard:

http://www.shape.com/healthy_eating/10_minute_meals

I’m hoping for a 4lb weight loss this week which would put me at 146lbs! I haven’t seen that weight in years. Don’t forget, this Sunday I post Week 7 results so you can heckle me if I don’t lose that amount! It’s fun to heckle – I can take it.  Bring it.

I was doing Jazzercise.... at a bar

Even at a bar on vacation… Erica is dedicated to her cardio!

I know.. I know!! I should’ve posted this LAST Sunday!! My timing is off! I won’t do it again! PROMISE. Actually, I have a good excuse – my partner in exercise, Erica, whisked me off to Martha’s Vineyard as of  Sat, August 22nd.  Hello, heaven! She’s an East Coaster and vacationed in MV every summer since she was a wee-one in diapers. I went with her two years ago and she yanked me along for the ride this time as well. Actually, she didn’t have to yank too hard! She was like “Lauren, will you come to Martha’s Vine…” and I interrupted her with a “YESSSS!!! Will you marry me?” I might or might not have jumped in her lap knocking her over. It sounds sort-of romantic, she is, in fact, my Heterosexual Life Partner, however, catch the “heterosexual,” we’re not in the lesbian way. That’s not a knock, I have lesbian friends, we just like our men.

Anyhow – despite the vaca – we’ve managed to be active everyday – I REFUSE TO GAIN WEIGHT! Let’s talk about last week’s results:

Erica - 0 lbs -she had a big Week 4. Total weight loss in 5 weeks – 7 lbs

Lauren -  2lbs – had to rebound from Week 4!! Total weight loss in 5 weeks - 10 lbs

Exercise is such key. You hit that gym, keep a food journal and it really does come off. Everyone is reading this and saying “No shit?” But, take it from a crash, yo-yo dieter, this Steady Edy approach is totally new to me. I’m just not freaking out or obsessing. That’s what I’ve done in the past - hit it too hard, too fast then fizzled-out early. Now, if I get off track, I just jump back on the next meal or workout. This weight is coming off for good. Move over, Jennifer Aniston… well, actually don’t… I don’t think I’m capable of your body. The Wine and Chocolate Monster attack me often!

As I said – I’m in Martha’s Vineyard this week on vacation. Although we’re not blocking lobster and the BEST-CLAM-CHOWDER-EVER indulgences, we are watching what we eat during the day and I get my butt up every morning and huff-it running at least 4 miles. I also leaned on my BFF SHAPE magazine and did some research. Here’s a good link for staying on track while vacationing:

http://www.shape.com/fitness/workouts/cardio/at_home/4_ways_to_stay_fit_on_vacation

Come back on Sunday to see who wins the fight between Martha’s Vineyard vs Lauren’s Ass!! (Que “Eye of the Tiger”)

Ahh... Martha's Vineyard. Not a great picture of us, but a major improvement in my mid-section and arms. Look at Erica's legs! Keep on keepin' on!

WOWZERS!! Girl, you’re not alone if your boyfriend’s Rabbi hits on you! I need a shot of whiskey after reading this one. Poor Jennifer!

My ex-boyfriend is Jewish and I’m not, but although I’m not well-educated on Judaism, I’m very confident it’s not okay for any religious teacher to behave in this manner.  His family wasn’t too happy that I wasn’t Jewish, so after our relationship hit the two-year mark, they invited us to dinner the same night their Rabbi and his family was coming over. I didn’t know if it was because they were going to try and convince me to switch to Judaism because they thought we might get engaged? I had no idea they’re ulterior motive. I was nervous. Dinner went well, no one asked me religious questions, no pressuring, nothing at all. I really enjoyed myself and liked the Rabbi and his wife very much. Later we went into library to have an after-dinner drink (yes, these people were very wealthy with a huge house.) As we walked everyone out, the Rabbi walked beside me, his hand lightly on my back and asked me how I felt about marrying my boyfriend since we had different faiths? I told him I was opened to a inter-religious marriage or if we decided together, on our own terms, I would consider converting. He stopped, smiled and said “I thought so,” slid his hand down my back and PATTED MY BUTT then walked off!!! I was floored. I didn’t know what to do. I didn’t no whether to laugh or vomit! I didn’t make a scene, just waited until I was in the car with my boyfriend and told him what his Rabbi did. His first reaction was “Really?!” then he got mad at me and accused me of making it up. He said the Rabbi was a very nice man, committed to his faith and would never do anything like that. That was the beginning of the end for us because I KNEW what I felt and that wasn’t a “nice” tap. I still can’t believe it.

I later ran into his brother’s wife and she told me that the Rabbi had done that to her twice. She said it’s just something he does to women, but is harmless and doesn’t mean anything by it. WHATEVER!

Jennifer – tell the happy little wifey that I call BULLSHIT on that one. A man puts his had on your tooshy – he means it!

Can I get a WOO WOO???? WOO!! WOO!! Get on a treadmill, pick up some free weights and what do you know… Mr. Lard Pockets gets his ass whipped by the Exercise Fairy. She is no joke… you start getting that Fairy in your corner and she goes all GI Jane on Mr. Lumpy Ass, Miss Cellulite, Captain Cottage Cheese Thighs and Mrs. Muffin Top. You know how the Tooth Fairy leaves you a dollar under your pillow and you wake-up and find it? The Exercise Fairy sucks fat from your thighs and while you’re forcing your sore body from bed to bathroom, you realize that you’re not getting that morning chafe from kissing thighs. Thank you, Exercise Fairy. You work for Shape Magazine, don’t you? Shape and I are becoming better friends the more we hangout together.

OKAY YOU CUTIES….. WEEK 3 RESULTS:

Me: 2 lbs, down a total of 8 lbs in 3 weeks

Erica: 1 lb, down a total of 3 lbs in 3 weeks

We’re a month behind though, because we haven’t tried the August Workout, AKA Jada Pickett-Smith Exercise, because we’re still hooked on Natasha Bedingfield’s Exercise. We’re finally at the point where we don’t have to look at the July issue of Shape to remember what move comes next so we wanted to bask in the glory of our short-term circuit training knowledge. HOWEVER, we start the August workout this week. Damn Jada and her crazy jump-ropin’, 50 lb benchin’ , rocked-out muscles. JADA – you better watch yourself and your perfect bicep-ed hubby AKA Fresh Prince, Erica and I are coming after you!!!! Well, sort-of, we’re going to try your workout and I’m pretty sure we’ll cry… or moan a little.. not really moan.. more like wince. We’re getting stronger. I’m not really talking to you, am I Jada? I’m just typing to air… but maybe you’ve found my blog and you’re reading this… call me…. or maybe I can come to LA and we can have dinner? I like salmon.. I read in the August issue you do too.. Okay, I’m starting to scare myself with this imaginary blogging to you. Good-bye. Tell Will – S’up.

Here’s a breakdown of last week’s workout:

Mon – 1 hour cardio/ Tues – 30 min cardio then circuit training/ Wed – Lauren slacked, Erica spinned for 45 min/

Thur – 30 min cardio then circuit training/ Fri - 45 cardio/ Sat - 45 min Spinning / Sun – Lauren slacked, Erica cardio/circuit

I slacked two days, but still got in 5 workouts. Food note: I ate well, but drank wine (or a bottle) on a few occasions and may have eaten too much cheese. Two things I’ll work on this week. Erica ate well, but said she went a little food crazy Friday and Saturday. SO, no regrets, we lost weight and we’ll just re-energize and tackle this week.

I will say this, it’s very different from any time I decided to lose weight. I want this to be a life-style change which means freaking out about a missed workout and a few high calorie-indulgences is a waste of time. I just fix it the next meal/workout.

GIRL POWER!!!!

If you’re on your own weight loss journey, GIRL speak up!! Comment! You’re not alone and I’m not either so spill it. Jada, you’re welcome to comment as well.