First off – Melissa and Karin – WAY TO GO!! You girls are my motivation and you’re staying with it. I’m so happy for you!! KEEP GOING!

See. SHAPE and I are still BFF's. I get a 2nd chance!

Second – Erica and I are not posting our weight simply because last week was official Dietcation Week and we want to respect President Obama… because he was the one who declared that everyone dieting stop for a week. It was on the news. Richard Simmons was there… and so was Jillian Michaels. They were both eating cupcakes and doing keg stands.  Denise Austin was holding their feet during the keg stand. Valerie Latona, Editor In Chief of SHAPE, was eating a box of Twinkies and drinking a gallon of chocolate milk while watching “Sex in the City”  DVD’s. I swear…. it was an ”Oprah” special and everything. OKAY, OKAY, O FREAKIN’ KAY!!! I’M LYING!!! But, I had a dream about it and I’m sort-of physic so it could happen.

I fell off the wagon, but I had a rope tied to my ankle so I’m still being dragged behind it. I’ll get back on this week.

Can I use the excuse that my place was being renovated and it was easier to grab fast food for lunch? NO!

Can I use the excuse that I was stressed and discombobulated so going to the gym was too much of a hassle? NO!

Can I use the excuse that Kirstie Alley sat on me and violently forced milk shakes down my trachea? …. Well, it was by force.. so.. YES!! DAMN YOU, KIRSTIE ALLEY! I will not go down with you!!!

Next Sunday, if I don’t report that I am 145 lbs, I’m checking myself into the Green Mountain Camp in Vermont. Do or DIE!!! (Que dramatic music)

This is the best picture I could get discretely. He’s coming back from one of his bathroom trips. He loves the Milkshake song.

Yesterday, I was in Peoria, IL for work. In between appointments, I went to Starbucks to get some work done.  There was this tall, big guy, about 6’4″ / 250lbs sitting adjacent to me at another table. He kept getting up to go to the bathroom. He would start talking to himself, say “oh no,” under his breath, then rush to the bathroom. While he was gone the first time, his phone rang. HIS RING TONE WAS THE MILKSHAKE SONG! First off, that song haunts me (http://girlyourenotalone.com/2009/06/05/my-milkshake-brings-my-feet-to-my-mouth/). Second, I didn’t not see that ring tone coming from a huge, gym-short wearing guy that pretty much proclaimed he’s about to light-up the public bathroom before hitting a dead sprint.  His phone rang like 5 times. Each time, interrupting my steady work-flow. The Barista at Starbucks finally said, “Your milkshake is blowing-up over there, huh?” Priceless.

This story is from a fellow blogger, Charmaine, http://randalswife.blogspot.com/

If you’re a mom, you will totally relate and laugh.  If you’re childless like me, you will still snort wine out your nose with laughter…. then wonder if you could handle kids…

Picture, if you will… I am at Wal-Mart with my two boys, 4 year old Israel and nearly 1 year old Elijah. Elijah is buckled in the cart because I really don’t need a head trauma right now and Israel is running up and down the aisles because this is Wal-Mart and I’m running low on shame. About halfway through shopping Israel tells me he has to go “poo-poo on the potty.” So I take him to the back of the store and he tells me he doesn’t have to go anymore. After checking and asking a couple of times, I determine he really doesn’t have to go anymore and I finish shopping. As I’m standing in line, Israel starts again, “Mama, I have to go poo-poo on the potty.”

To which I reply, “Ok, we’re checking out right now and then I’m going to pay for our groceries and then we’ll go to the bathroom. Can you hold it for a little while?”

Israel, “Ok.”

Well, this happens a couple of more times and I finally point out the bathroom and tell him that it’s right there and we are almost done. After I pay for the groceries we are going to run over there together and go potty. He walks up the the front and says, “That bathroom right there?”

“Yup, that’s the one,” I answer as I hear the cashier gasp. I turn around and discover Elijah Houdini has escaped the buckle and is standing up now. So while I’m bucking him back in, the cashier points out that Israel is running to the bathrooms. I turn around just in time to see him run into the men’s room.

Great. What am I supposed to do? Please don’t judge me. I just stayed with Elijah and the cart and kept my eye on the bathrooms and hoped that the cashier would be fast enough that I could get over before the inevitable happened. She wasn’t. As I’m wrestling with Elijah, I hear a sweet mom voice saying, “Where’s your mommy?”

Please, don’t let it be me. I turn around to see my 4 year-old son standing outside the bathrooms with his pants around his ankles asking for someone to wipe his bottom. Pants around ankles. Luckily the little guy is pretty well-endowed, but I really don’t want to encourage exhibitionism.

Words cannot describe how I felt though.

So I turn around to the cashier who was a very sweet older lady and seemed to understand the situation. Luckily there was no one in line behind me so I just left the cart, my purse, and my baby to run and get Israel. I took him into the women’s room and wiped him and told him to wash his hands and come back out – I had to go get everything else.

It was a walk of shame going back out of the bathroom, past the mom with 3 young girls who was asking who Israel’s mommy was, past the young couple sitting outside the bathrooms and past all the other random people at Super Wal-Mart on a Saturday and back to the cashier and my other son and waiting groceries.

I made it out with both sons and all my groceries, but all my pride was left behind.

Pictures these, but covered in mold.

We all eat on the run, especially in the morning. Even more, we often grab something and have no idea what we’re eating because of time crunches. I once had Pringles for breakfast because I thought I was grabbing cereal in a can. I have to say, a salty treat with coffee was a different combination, but not bad, sort-of like Cheetos with Peanut-butter/Jelly. I know it sounds nasty, but my pregnant friend told me about it and I’m tellin’ ya, Brad Pitt in a sandwich. Don’t knock it till you try it.

On Friday, I had a client tell me about her eat-on-the-run experience. She grabbed the Hostess 100 Calorie Pack Muffins that morning which she eats daily on the way to work. Being a good driver, she kept her eyes on the road while she unwrapped the muffins. She spelled something weird, “It must be hair product,” she thought, then popped a muffin. She said it tasted like there was hair product all over the mini-muffin so she spit it out, looked down to find mold all over the half-chewed muffin!!!! THEN she looked down at the two remaining muffins to find MOLD ALL OVER THEM! HAHA! I’ve never confused mold with the smell/taste of hair product, but perhaps I should take it to the Oxford University Labs. Those people survey/test anything.

My favorite part of her story is that the mold did not spoil her appetite. She immediately called her mom, who’s office was close by hers, and asked to meet her in the parking lot and bring her a granola bar and yogurt. Girl, you’re not alone if breakfast is the most important meal of the day.

Let’s not beat around the bush. Erica and I jumped the ferry to Martha’s Vineyard and rode the “vacation” excuse like a wild horse and never tamed it. Erica had a goal to eat lobster at least once everyday and I fell in love. Yes, Rob, move over, you have been replaced by a much more enticing species… called.. Murdick’s Fudge. Slap me… harder.. no harder!! Okay.. that was too hard. Actually, not hard enough! I’m in still in love with fudge!! Ladies, this stuff is amazing! I live next to the Fudge Pot in Chicago, always loved it, but Murdick’s Tanya Harding’s it to the ground.

http://murdicks.com/fudge/

I had a love affair with fudge and Erica with lobster. HOWEVER, what did I say last week? I WILL NOT GAIN WEIGHT.. so I ran like vegetables were chasing me, EVERY FREAKIN’ DAY! Although we didn’t lose anything, we didn’t gain either which is pretty darn good for people who swam in butter and cream for a week. We did watch our food intake during the day, but when dark came… ohhhhh, Lordy.

When I arrived home on Sunday, though, I was greeted by the September issue of Shape magazine reminding me that vacation was over and the gym awaits.. as well as the veggies.

I got some good recipes this week so I’m not just eating things that taste like cardboard:

http://www.shape.com/healthy_eating/10_minute_meals

I’m hoping for a 4lb weight loss this week which would put me at 146lbs! I haven’t seen that weight in years. Don’t forget, this Sunday I post Week 7 results so you can heckle me if I don’t lose that amount! It’s fun to heckle – I can take it.  Bring it.

I was doing Jazzercise.... at a bar

Even at a bar on vacation… Erica is dedicated to her cardio!