If I type fast, this won’t be as painful, but I promised my girlfriend I’d submit. I was meeting my boyfriend’s family for the first time. I was suppose to get a half day off work to prepare, but it didn’t happen which resulted in a sprint home then mad-rush getting ready. I was afraid the underwear I was wearing would show through my pants so I just took them off with no time to find alternatives. I’m talking a total of 15 minutes to get ready. My boyfriend gave me the impression that we were having dinner with just his family, however, we showed up to a houseful of additional guests. I felt like I fit in immediately and was having a great time as if I’d known everyone for years.

I was helping his mom keep the appetizers filled. I was in the middle of pulling something from a cabinet and a glass bowl fell from the top shelf, but I caught it right before it hit the ground. I heard my pants rip, but when I felt around – there was no rip.

As I filled the bowl, walked out to the living room in front of everyone and BENT down to put the food on the coffee table, I heard gasps. My boyfriend yelled my name and one of his mom’s friends pulled me in her lap.

My pants had completely ripped down the middle!! When I was walking you could tell a little, but when I bent over – YOU COULD SEE MY ENTIRE BARE BUTT!!!!!! Imagine what your bare butt looks like when you bend way over with something weighing you down in front and EVERYONE is starring while your butt cheeks are SPREAD!!

I stayed in the woman’s lap for a good 5 minutes with my face in my hands.

The older, drunker men called me Jiggly Jenny all night.

Jenny
Naperville, IL

Hello Lovely Ladies! Heather here. For those of you living in Chicago, I hope you are staying warm and dry, who knew it was monsoon season in the City? This week’s topic is Exposed!

To shake things up a bit, our lead story comes from a lovely and talented friend of ours, Charla. But don’t fret, Lauren and I will keep you entertained throughout the week with more of our tales and yours. Enjoy!

Over-exposed at Cartier:

So I’m invited to the oh-so exclusive Palm Beach Cartier Christmas party and decide to fully glam it up festive style and wear my “red threat dress”. You know the one that makes you a threat to all the attached ladies in the room to hold onto their man cause you’re such a hottie one?

Yeah, well, it was body skimming, short (I had the legs for it at the time) and loooow backed with a drape front, only supported by two teeny tiny spaghetti straps at the shoulder (I had the back and arms for it at the time too.)

Ok, so what do you do at such a Christmas party but grab some mighty tasty and expensive (free) champagne, try on jewelry you DO NOT have the bank account to purchase, but hope that your date does then go and ask Santa (hired entertainment) to bring you the said wish list for Christmas, right?

Well, that WAAAAAS the plan until, while carrying champagne and handbag in one hand, pashmina over the shoulder on the other side, I strut my way up to Santa and low and behold the pashmina on my left shoulder starts to slide. In order to stop it, I’d have to spill or drop the champagne glass (lead crystal, of course) so I figured if I just try to stand a little taller it’ll stop the fateful slide. WRONG! It proceeded to fall of my shoulder and take my dress strap with it! Even worse, my dress dropped below my waist on the left side so that my boob, sans bra, was staring at Santa, his elves and the rest of the Christmas party.

Needless to say, I didn’t return the following year. Can you say “fashion victim?”

Charla, Chicago, IL