GYNA followers, due to technical difficulties, we’re two days late getting this to you. The cyber world tried to bring us down, but we’re back up!!!!! WE CAN’T BE FIRE-WALLED!! Speaking of up and down, this week’s topic is one that Americans spend $35 billion a year on – DIETING!! (Is it wrong that I’m eating a sugar-loaded blueberry muffin while typing this?) Oh – by the way – it’s Lauren.

Let’s take a trip down dieting road when the Akins Diet hit bookstands promising miracle weight loss FAST. It was my senior year of college with Spring Break and a planned Panama City, FL beach trip quickly approaching. How was I going to get the winter weight, beer belly and late-night Crystal burgers off my ass in two months? Suddenly, the book made flight from a book store into my hands – The Atkins Diet it is. After two weeks on Phase 1, I had lost 10lbs. OOHHHH YEAHHH – I won’t have to layout with my arms stretched above my head to flatten my tummy, no more walking around the beach in a long-sleeved t-shirt, I will wear a bikini!!!!! These were all my thoughts on the scale. Can’t you feel the glory?

If you’re not familiar with the Atkins Diet, Phase 1 consists of a restricted 20 grams of carbs per day for two weeks and absolutely no sugar. For visual, 20 grams of carbs is the equivalent to 2 tablespoons of peanut butter. I had the bright idea of extending Phase 1 until I couldn’t take it anymore since I had some fast results the first two weeks.

Fast-forward to two months later; I was down 25 lbs with the help of being dedicated to Phase 1 and daily TaeBo sessions. I was a new woman and felt like I could rule the world. I was completely ready to dominate my new bikini. All these thoughts passed through my head as I strolled through the grocery store selecting no-carb items UNTIL, I reached the bakery section. The coconut cream cake, adorned in its plastic container called to me. I have earned a piece and I’ll have JUST one then give the rest to my (then) boyfriend, I thought. I picked up the cake and checked out.

I was calm walking to the car. Gathered starting the car. Relaxed proceeding onto the street to the main road until the fact that I hadn’t eaten ANY sugar whatsoever in 2 months hit me and within seconds, the plastic top was peeled off and my hand digging from the middle of the cake to my mouth. I had never tasted sugar this good. To this day, I can remember how amazing that 8-hour old, plastic-container cake tasted. HEAVEN!!! I made it to my room and finding a fork, attacked the already disconfigured cake. Realizing what I was doing, I chunked the forked into the container, closed it and pushed it into my closet. My closet was elevated and had sliding doors. I took a couple of deep breaths, walked over to the closet, only to bend down and start eating it AGAIN! After a few minutes, my back started to hurt from bending and eating so I grabbed the cake and sat in the floor of my closet.

Let’s take a second to get the full effect of this moment – I’d lost 25 lbs, RAPIDLY, I was sitting in the bottom of my closet, an entire cake propped on my knees while eating from the container and my boyfriend walks in!! OF COURSE HE DID!! It was often that I had to track him down, yell many times how he didn’t spend enough time with me, beg him over, but in this particular case, he decides to think of me and just come over and catches me in my only weak moment, BINGING ON CAKE!!!!! He thought I was binging and purging. During his freak-out and trying to beg him not to call my parents, I told him the whole story which took a lot of fast talking until he believed it. What a disaster!! Spring Break was awesome and so was my bikini body that disintegrated shortly after when I overloaded on carbs.