When Our Teen Idols Reunite
All of our girlfriends bring out a certain something in each of us. My girlfriend, Tara, is the one that helps me trek back to the days I danced in front of the TV alongside Doris Day and the teenage moments I prayed that Donnie from New Kids on the Block would someday find and marry me. You need that girlfriend who joins in your need to keep those adolescent, but very precious memories alive. Tara sent me this email and it’s one of the best I received. See below:
I am writing this for you – share if you wish, but it’s really the reason I think you and I are such great friends. We’re both old souls, romantics, forever followers of our teen idols and, clearly, still a little crazy.
2009 was a hell of a year. Running a business while the economy is crumbling around you is not only terrifying, but is pretty much responsible for 90% of the new gray hairs I have acquired over the year. However, in spite of the turmoil, stress and sleepless nights, it has also given clarity to another thing in my life I hadn’t realized I was missing. When I was 14, I thought life was hard. Sustaining friendships, crushing on boys, keeping up with the trends, all the while my body was out of control, seemed just about the end of the world. The reality was that nothing felt right or normal. My family was crazy and complicated, but also understanding the new social order that I had entered was really difficult. It also didn’t help that I felt completely awkward phsyically and emotionally. It didn’t seem that anyone could explain or understand what really was going on with me.
For me, there was only one saving grace throughout all of this madness; New Kids on the Block. It may sound odd, but they pretty much got me through all of the rough teenage years. That stark raving madness that overcomes you when you see the boy of your dreams, who can’t turn you down, and your imagination runs wild. (as wild as imaginations run at 14) where life fulfillment was marrying Joe McIntyre and my best friend at the time would be Mrs. Jordan Knight. Wow that was the dream! Of course instead, I moved away, had to change high schools when I was 15, went to college, met the man who eventually became my husband, went to grad school, started my own business, and 30. 
Tara at NKOTB Reunion Concert in Chicago
Now maybe your blog is not the place to rehash my teenage obsessions, but then again, maybe it is just that place. Writing this in the 20th year anniversary of my 14th birthday seems completely apt. Not only because it coincided with the biggest failure in our generations economic history, but because somehow I actually made it through that in spite of it.
I have come to realize that at fourteen, life was truly simple, despite how it felt at the time. I had plenty of non-taxed disposable income from my many baby-sitting gigs, no bills to pay, no career to consider, only the future ahead of me glittering with possibility. Perhaps the realizations then, when the most important things in my life were the release of the new issues of Teen Beat and BOP magazines, truly set the path for what I’ve become. Part of myself had left a gap I hadn’t realized was there, and at the same time, maybe it wasn’t gone, just hiding waiting for the trigger that would propel me into a relapse of my former self. From here, I’ve decided that in my future happiness depends on keeping that girl around and not to lose her again. She is the part of me that finds the crazy fun in life and relishes every minute, who allows me to giggle, scream, cry and yell without any fear of shame. It’s also the part of me that makes it easier to survive moments that seem too terrible to see the light at the end. My advice to every woman is never lose that girl, keep her inside, don’t let her take over, but let her guide that fun-loving impulsive part of your brain that too often can be overshadowed by commitments and obligations. Now that I’ve rediscovered her, I won’t be letting her out of my sight!
The demands of women our age seldom leave the opportunity for frivolity. Marriage, kids, work, bills, family, all demand our time, attention and commitment. We find ourselves worrying about everything, letting the world drag us along without consulting us first, whirling by until we realize too late that we have missed the best parts or not gotten the most out of them. I have found this new perspective has given me a chance to step back and enjoy every minute I can. Snap up every possibility to do things I truly love with people I truly love, without guilt or regret. I say let yourself find that girl every now and then, spend a night on the town and just be 14 again.
I knew that there was a reason we had become friends, but what I know now is that the 14 year old inside of me found her soulmate. As a longtime New Kids Fan, who’s second biggest obsession was Judy Garland, Gene Kelly and MGM musicals, who was constantly ridiculed for being completely uncool, I have met someone who not only accepts me for the crazy musical loving teenager, but truly embraces that part of me. Someone who understands, so far without exception, the really bizarre world inside of my head. I always felt the need to defend myself, but now I hold close all of the things that set me apart and made me different – without them I wouldn’t be who I am today or who I’ll become tomorrow.
XOXO,
Tara
