SORRY FOR THE POSTING HIATUS! I let life give me a swift kick and win. If blogging for you ladies is my happy place, you can imagine which side of Oz I’ve been visiting for the last week. BUT I’M BACK! I BOUNCE! Now… Shape Challenge time!

Could you ladies, excuse us for a second? I need to have a private conversation with my Ass and Scale. It’ll just take a second. Thanks.

Me – Okay you two, this is ridiculous. You’re barely talking. Scale, you can’t keep snubbing Ass. What’s going on?

Ass – Yeah, Scale. Why you frontin’ yo? I been all up in the crib sweatin’ and shit. Burnin’ up the sidewalk tryin’ to lose some LB’s. Show me some love, Brutha. (Did I mention that I have a Ghetto Ass?)

Scale – I’m feeling very used. Ass uses me everyday and always wants something from me. I can’t give happiness everyday! I can’t! Sometimes I’m going to have a bad day and give you a number you don’t like. I don’t need to be kicked around if I don’t tell you what you want to hear!! I need love to! LOVE me!! Except me!!! THE PRESSURE!!!!

Me – Okay, okay, calm down Scale. If you break down, well, then I’ll just lean on Betty Crocker and we don’t want that.  Let’s all compromise. Scale, moving forward, Ass and I promise to accept what you have to say no matter if you’re acting like a Bitch. We just have to remind ourselves that no matter how hard we’re working or dieting, sometimes we’re not going to have a big number. But, Ass, seriously, I think you could workout harder and although it’s Soy Ice-cream – it’s still going to leach onto you if you eat a half gallon of it.

Ass – Wha??? Yo, check it… I’ve been all up in the treadmill. Don’t even come up in here and tell me I ain’t doin’ my shit. I’m gonna show you who needs to work harder. Don’t front like that, bitch, SHIIITTT.

Me – Fine! Can we all agree to get along? Scale, can you be a little nicer next week?

Scale – Agreed.

Ass – I can fly wit it

Me – Great. Who’s up for a smoothie?

I’m glad you guys could join us for that ABC Family moment… although there was a character named “Ass” and she spoke ghetto, but at the end, we all learned a valuable lesson and learned to agree. I think I just puked a little. 

Anywho….So since I’m cramming in 2 weeks – let me give a little run down …

Week 11 – I worked the gym like a belle in a brothel and I tell ya… 1 lb down!! I was wishing for more as I wanted to get to 145lb, but no dice. It reminded me of one of those moments from “The Biggest Loser,” when one of the contestants only lost 1lb and although you’ve watched them get the bejesus kicked out of them all week, you still secretly think, “He/She didn’t work hard enough.” So.. I thought I could’ve worked harder.

Week 12 – complete, total, f”in slack ass. High five, Kirstie Alley, we’re riding the chunky train together. I worked out once, drank wine twice (and I’m not talkin’ one glass) and ate a burger with fries on Tuesday. My place is being renovated so I’ve been using it as an excuse all week. But, guess what, I still lost 1lb. WTF????? I mean – WHAT??

So, Erica has jumped back on the challenge, HARD, here’s the summary:

Erica – Week 12 – 2.5 lbs – Total Weight lost – 10lbs

Lauren – Week 12 – 1lbs – Total Weight lost – 14lbs – 146 lbs.

Girl you’re not alone, if you battle with discipline EVERYDAY!! I watch some of my girlfriends get up everyday at 5am and Jillian Michaels the gym. They’re the girls that sit Indian-style in bikinis with no fat rolls. Meanwhile, my kind, is almost in back-bend position to keep their stomachs somewhat flat!

So… I’m just going to tackle the week the best I can. Scale and Ass have made amends – let just see if Scale holds up her side!!! AND AAAWAAY WE GO!!!

Bad picture of me from neck up. But, I finally fit into my girlfriend's dress I've been dying to borrow! Her little girl, Emily, decided to try a dress on as well, hence her pj pants and slippers underneath.

This entry was posted on Sunday, October 18th, 2009 at 11:23 am and is filed under Uncategorized. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.