My Milkshake Brings My Feet to My Mouth….
It’s sometimes painful to be me, hence, I had to start a blog because, for my sanity, I have to know that other people share my pain.. and mortification. Britney baby, although I didn’t have two children by the age of 25, marry a white wanna-be-rapper who aspired to be ghetto, change accents when I change wigs or cry on national TV while I smacked gum and let snot run down my face for effect .. I do think we could be close friends. Call me.
Anywho, you know I’m Queen of blurting before braining.. this is why I’m categorizing myself with Britney Spears and.. Vice President Biden … away we go!!
Yesterday afternoon, two of my female coworkers and I got a sweet tooth. We work in the Merchandise Mart (in Chicago. On levels one and two there are endless opportunities for high calorie treats, I’m talkin’ every type of fast food vendor you can think of. We started throwing out options: Cookies? No.. brownies? Nah.. cupcakes… maybe ice cream? Maybe… wait! Milkshakes!!! Ladies, I think we have a winner.
Because it was late afternoon and our brains are dead and perverted at this specific time of day.. we got on the subject of the “Milkshake,” song by Kelis – http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=rZ-FAV9fBII. One of my coworkers wasn’t aware of what “milkshake,” really meant. We then clued her in that “milkshake,” in this song, was a euphemism for a BJ (oral sex to a man.. you never know you’re audience.) She laughed and gasped… haha.. funny.. then it was over. Before we went downstairs I wanted to be polite to the Creative Director and Design Manager in the next room. So I went next door, walked in their office and said:
“Hi, we’re running downstairs real quick, would you guys like a blow job?” WAIT!!!!!! NO! NO! NO! NO!!!!!!! Lauren – Freudian Slip!!!!!! AHHHH!!
“Oh my goodness.. I’m so sorry…. I meant Milkshake. Oh my god… I… am.. horrified.. We were talking about this song because we’re getting milkshakes, right, and what it meant in the song..” Lauren.. just shut-up. Just turn around and walk off.
The Creative Director is a conservative gay man and the Design Manager is a female – both cool - but, still – COME ON!!! They were immediately stunned – eyes shot wide open – followed by “WHAT DID YOU JUST SAY?”
UGH!! It hurts! It hurts so bad… make it stop!
Girl, you’re not alone if three pairs of feet fit in your mouth with room to spare. I feel ya, Britney baby.
Tags: embarrassing stories, female humor, foot in mouth, freudian slip, funny office stories, funny story, girl youre not alone, milkshake song, office moment, women, women and work, women in the office
June 5th, 2009 at 9:46 am
Well, I’ll keep an eye out for next season’s carpet designs and if there’s a pseudo milkshake motif involved I’ll secretly know that you had hand in it – lol!
June 5th, 2009 at 1:42 pm
OMG! I’m a mother of 3 little boys, and when that song came out, the twins, who were 3 at the time, would sing “La, la…la…la..la,” which is in the chorus of the song. They didn’t sing any words so it wasn’t a big deal.
My husband and I thought we were behind closed doors when he said, “I think it’s funny that our sons are singing about blow jobs and don’t even know it. I was called the next day by their preschool because they added the word “Blow Jobs,” plural, at the end of their “la..la’s.”
That call seemed just as painful as your moment! HA!
I really enjoy your blog! I need it!
June 6th, 2009 at 12:03 pm
This is just too funny!
June 22nd, 2009 at 10:46 pm
0mg that is t00 funny…that has happened t0 me t0 many times…be thinking the w0rst and blurt it 0ut…lol
September 15th, 2009 at 8:33 am
[...] first time, his phone rang. HIS RING TONE WAS THE MILKSHAKE SONG! First off, that song haunts me (http://girlyourenotalone.com/2009/06/05/my-milkshake-brings-my-feet-to-my-mouth/). Second, I didn’t not see that ring tone coming from a huge, gym-short wearing guy that [...]
September 15th, 2009 at 9:34 am
Oh Lauren! This was hilarious! I also learned the true meaning of the “milkshake”. Here I was thinking it had something to do with breasts! lol I’m also a little horrified b/c I used to coach cheerleading for 7-8 year olds and I would sing along with them as they sang this song during practice!
March 1st, 2010 at 2:51 pm
[...] http://girlyourenotalone.com/2009/06/05/my-milkshake-brings-my-feet-to-my-mouth/ [...]